July 27, 2009

July 26, 2009

The result!

The shoes were comfy and I made it to the car without limping! They passed the test! Welcome to my shoe closet!

July 25, 2009

My Sweet, Sweet Husband

One of the things that Brian and I have done to keep ourselves connected is to have a Date Night once a week. We started the week after we got back from our honeymoon. At that time, Brian was in youth ministry so he was gone 4 - 5 nights a week. He kept our date night sacred though. I knew that I could count on having him to myself one night a week. It was really easy the first two years we were married because it was just the two of us. Once the kids came along we would stay in and watch movies, play cards, or just talk.

Now the kids are in school and we use that time for Date Day. Because Brian's work week starts on Sunday, he has Fridays off. We spend the day together watching movies, catching up on our DVR recordings, running errands, and always a trip to Starbucks!

Yesterday we started with Starbucks, which we drank while we waited in line at DEQ. After that, Brian surprised me with a trip to Nordstrom. If you have read my previous blog entries you would know Nordstrom is having their anniversary sale and the shoes were calling to me. Brian set aside some money he got for doing weddings and the sweet love bought me a pair of shoes off my wish list!

They are a beautiful pewter Michael Kors heel. They are super comfy, which is a rarity with 4 inch heels. The real test though is Sunday mornings. I get up at 5am and am on my feet for a long time. Some days I can walk to the car, other days, it is not pretty! We will see how it plays out tomorrow!

July 22, 2009

Happy Birthday Anthony!

Today Anthony is 12! It has been an awesome 12 years. Anthony is turning into a wonderful young man and I am so thankful to God for entrusting me with his care.

Anthony has always been a very laid back and easy going child. He has such a tender heart and I know that God blessed him with it. During a routine check up during my pregnancy with him, they found he had an irregular heartbeat. I will never forget that moment. I was on the exam table and I just happened to look at the doctor's face and saw, for a split second, the look of concern on her face. She said he had an issue with his heart and we needed to go see a neo-natal cardiologist. She left the room to get the appointment set up for that week and Brian went to touch my hand and all I could get out was no. I knew the minute he went to comfort me I would break down and I wanted to wait until we left. Once we were done with the appointment, I made it halfway to the elevator when I broke down and started sobbing uncontrollably. We went home and laid on the bed for hours, either crying or praying. We called both sides of the family and they called their friends and within hours we had people all over the world praying for Anthony's heart.

We went to the neo-natal cardiologist and she did an hour long ultrasound on Anthony's heart, looking for any abnormalities that could be causing the irregular heartbeat. It was a very long hour. At the end she didn't find any abnormalities, which was a relief. Now, knowing that there was nothing physically wrong with the heart, they had to figure out what to do. At our next appointment, his heart had corrected itself and was now beating fine. We knew that God had answered our prayers and healed Anthony. The joy was great! He was born healthy and has never had another problem with his heart.

As Anthony grew, I could tell how tender his heart was. He was so kind and sensitive. He has always been able to sense when someone is sad and is quick to comfort them. I knew for sure that not only had God answered our prayers for Anthony's physical heart, He had also blessed his heart emotionally.

So, today we celebrated his birth. I made him Swedish pancakes for breakfast. (He ate 16 this morning.) After breakfast, Brian took him golfing. Anthony shot 11 under par and even beat Brian on the back 9. He was thrilled!

When he got home he opened his presents. Anthony has wanted an X-box 360 since they came out years ago. I mean he really wanted one. Not a little bit. A lot of bit. With great help from all his grandparents and great-grandmother, we were able to get him one. Parker knew how much Anthony wanted it so he was anxious in waiting for Anthony to get home from golfing. The whole time they were gone Parker kept saying over and over that he "couldn't wait to see his (Anthony's) face when he opens the box." It melted my heart to see that Parker was excited to see his brother happy. (In the picture you can see Parker watching Anthony's reaction!) Well, he wasn't disappointed. Anthony was very happy indeed!

We peeled them away from the X-box 360 for dinner at Benihanna. The food was great and the boys had a fun time. There was lots of laughter and that always makes momma happy!

Happy Birthday my big boy!

July 17, 2009

My Wish List

Nordstrom is having their anniversary sale and naturally, these shoes are calling to me!

July 15, 2009

Continue On

The last few months I have been able to get reconnected with friends from school, thanks to Facebook. I love reading what everyone is up to and what they decided to do with their lives. Sometimes after reading about the great things they are doing I wonder what purpose my life has. Some of them are doctors, teachers, lawyers and even poloticians. They have important jobs. Jobs where people depend on them and they make a difference. So, where do I, a stay at home mom, fit into this environment? That is when I read this poem by Roy Lessin.

A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life
she feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife
and mother. She wondered if the time and energy she invested
in her husband and children would make a difference.

At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did
seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated.
"Is it worth it?" she often wondered. "Is there something better
that I could be doing with my time?"

It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard
the still small voice of her heavenly Father speak to her heart.
"You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be.
Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye. But I notice.
Most of what you give is done without remuneration.
But I am your reward.

Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be
without your support. Your influence upon him is greater than
you think and more powerful than you will ever know.
I bless him through your service and honor him through your
love. Your children are precious to Me. Even more precious than
they are to you. I have entrusted them to your care
to raise for Me. What you invest in them is an offering to Me.

You may never be in the public spotlight. But your obedience
shines as a bright light before Me. Continue on.
Remember you are my servant. Do all to please Me."

I forget sometimes who I am living for. I forget where my heart is. God has a purpose for my life, however big or small. It is good to be reminded.

July 11, 2009

The rest of the story...

I have already blogged about finding out we were having twins and the ensuing pregnancy. Now, here is how I ended up in the ICU...

There are 40 weeks in a full term singleton pregnancy. Most doctors consider full term for twins around 36 weeks. That was the goal my doctor wanted for me. Things like lungs develop earlier in multiples then in singleton babies so they don't need to go a full 40 weeks. (That is just another awesome way God created our bodies.) So, I hit the goal of 36 weeks and the babies were doing great. I had a stress test every week to make sure they continued to stay that way. Brian and I constantly prayed for them and their development. One of our greatest concerns was their health. We had heard and read so many horror stories about twins being born with breathing and heart problems. I was constantly praying for them. Around 38 weeks I started getting pre-eclampsia. It is basically high blood pressure brought on by pregnancy. The cure - stop being pregnant! I got so bloated I couldn't wear shoes. The only thing that fit was my slippers, and even those were tight. Week 39 the doctor decided to induce. We went home knowing that it was our last night as a family of 3. We could feel the life changing event in the air. Nothing was ever going to be the same!

It was a Friday morning. We had a great friend come over to watch Anthony until my in-laws could make it into town from California. I was nervous but more excited to be getting these babies out of me. It had been a long, hard, and painful road and I couldn't wait to get my body back. I was tired of sharing it! However, I was not looking forward to being induced. My doctor and I had been in a battle for many months over how I was going to deliver. I wanted a C-section but he wanted me to try "normal" first. I was in a position, physically, that made it completely medically acceptable to have a C-section. We battled during each of my visits. We have Kaiser, so we didn't have many options to change doctors. Believe me, I would have switched if I could. I was considered a high risk pregnancy so the options were even smaller. Anyhow, Brian and I arrive at the hospital and get all checked in. (The nurses in the maternity ward were awesome!!!) The on-call doctor comes in and we start talking about how they are going to induce me. I am not excited about it! As we talk, he says that it was too bad that I didn't want to do a C-section because that would be the safest way to deliver for someone in my condition. I was thrilled to hear that! We went ahead and scheduled the C-section for later that day. Baby A, Parker Bailey, was born at 3:12pm and baby B, Tyler Dean, was born at 3:14pm. Everything went smoothly. Our prayers were answered and both of them were very healthy. We were thrilled!

Partway thorough the delivery the anesthetic they used was making me itch. It was irritating and I mentioned it to the anesthesiologist. He said he could give me something for the itching but it would lessen the effect of the pain meds by about half. The itching got so bad that I told them to go ahead with the medication. I was taken out to the recovery area. There Brian brought me the twins to hold. It was so amazing to see their little faces. Brian noticed that I started going pale. The pain was getting to be a bit much. I told the nurse and she said it was normal after the anesthesia started to wear off. The pain got worse and worse and was becoming too much to handle. I started crying out in pain and the nurse ran off to find the doctor to ok more pain meds. During their discussion they realize that they both gave me the anti-itch medication and I essentially had no pain medication after having major surgery. It was ouchy! They rushed to get pain meds in me and they soon got my pain under control, but the damage had been done.

My blood pressure had skyrocketed during the pain. That is what they wrote it off as and thought it would correct itself after my pain settled down. It didn't. It continued to rise. I got sent to the ICU. They tried all sorts of things and nothing worked. It just got higher. They couldn't figure it out. They had tried almost everything with no success. They had one more thing they could try. It was a medication and it would make me very sick. I remember them explaining it to me. The nurse described how I would get very sick and I told her I didn't think that was a good idea and could we please try something else. She stopped what she was doing and told me that this was their last resort and if I didn't do it I would die. I agreed, but I still didn't think getting sick was a good idea! The doctor took Brian aside and explained the situation to him and told him to say his goodbyes to me. We live in a modern age. Women aren't supposed to die in childbirth anymore. (I think he was just upset that he would be left alone with 3 boys under the age of 2!)

Those are the last things I remember. I went in and out of consciousness. It had worked though. My blood pressure came down and I was soon out of danger. However when I did wake up, I was very sick! That was no fun, but I was alive! It was a hard thing to go through without family around. It was scary! Brian was by my side every moment. He spent every night in the hospital with me. The nurses even commented that they had never seen a husband stay with the wife in the hospital each and every night. He is such a great man!

My in-laws arrived and helped out so much. We were now a family of 5 and I feel blessed to be here taking care of them!

July 3, 2009


Tyler and I were watching a show last week. During the commercial he turned to me and asked me why the dads on tv are always "not very smart." He wanted to know why the dads are the ones who mess everything up. I thought this was an astute observation. It has been something Brian and I have noticed as well. Why is our culture making our men dumb and obsolete?

Can this viewpoint change the way our kids view God? We often refer to Him as our Father. What picture does that conjure up?

This is a concern for me, especially when my 9 year old can see it!

In Sickness and in Health

If you read my hubby's blog or you are on facebook with him you know that he had an echocardiogram today. He has been having chest pain for the last few months and the doctors can't figure out why. I can handle my own health problems, but I am not doing so well with Brian's. I am terrified to put it more accurately. If they don't know what is causing the pain, then how can we know if he is going to be OK? I want the health part of the vows and not the sickness. I don't want him to be in pain. I don't want him to live in uncertainty. I want him to have the "and in health."

I feel that God is stretching me through this. Do I trust Him with Brian's health? Do I trust Him to be sufficient for me? Will I give my fear over to Him? All good questions. The answers are a constant work in progress.